Friday, December 26, 2014

St. Stephen and the Holy Mass

A man that takes the role of a Deacon is showing by his submission, sacrifice and love to extol all the gifts that are given to him by God.    Donning vestments, whether Priest or Deacon is the ultimate witness of manliness. 

It is no coincidence that the first Christian Martyr was a Deacon.  By God’s grace, through a Deacon, God let open the heavens to let St. Stephen see the rewards of all those who die for the faith.  The grace of martyrdom is a joy of the will of God being fulfilled, for if we love God, we love Him and those He loves to our last breath and our last drop of blood. 

Those that are chosen for this gift are very few, and it is only by the love in their heart for others that they are chosen.  The martyr is prepared for death by the knowledge that their blood feeds the Church, and by the shedding of their blood, within God's will, they are given the greatest gift while still in the flesh; the assurance of heaven.

Is there any suffering that we cannot endure if we know we shall have heaven for all eternity?  St. Stephen saw what he most desired, and it’s fulfillment is so great that anything he would suffer caused him no ill will to those who were killing him, and by asking mercy he was praying that they should be in the same heaven as he was about to attain.   He lived a life poured out for others with no thought for himself.

St. Stephen is the first witness of what happens at each and every Holy Mass.  At each Holy Mass, the heavens open and we have access to the throne of God, just what St. Stephen's saw.  He, saw Jesus in the face, we see Jesus in the Holy Eucharist.  During Mass we can plead before God's throne for mercy for ourselves and for our brethren, whether they can see what we see or not.  St Stephen saw the heavens open and saw the judgement seat of God and pleaded for those killing him.  We have access to the judgement seat of God when the Body and Blood of Jesus is offered to the Father, and we too should plead for those around us.    

St. Stephen saw the wounds of our Lord in his hands as he looked into heaven, and was given fortification to accept the will of the Father.  In the wounds of Christ are the perfection desired of every martyr of the Catholic Church, for in them is the perfect will of God.  

Deacon Jeff Powell, and Father Eric Johnson, OLPH

The Holy Mass is truly heaven on Earth!  How I wish people understood what this truly is.   What would you give to attain heaven?  What would you lay down to see God in the face?  The Catholic has the gift of heaven at every Holy Mass.  For at each Mass the angels and the Saints are in attendance, happy that such a grace is given to us.    But we with our dim eyes do not see what is really happening.  If we truly understood how the heavens open and how the throne of God is available to us at each and every Holy Mass, we would be willing to give up everything we have to go to just one.  

What joy is to go to Holy Mass, the prelude of heaven!

And if you love others, knowing the heavens are open to you as they are at each Holy Mass, what would you plead before the throne of God for those around you?  If you love as the Sacred Heart loves, there is no part of your heart that you will deny God to lay on the altar for someone else. 

Only the Priest can give us Jesus, but it was a Deacon who gave us the first glimpse of what truly happens in the Mass.    

St. Stephen pray for us!


Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Mark

Every Catholic Priest that walks the Earth had a mark placed on him at his conception for the Priesthood.   This is a gift by God as a reflection for what God did for Mary in her womb, because every Priest is her son.  The Priest is not immaculate, but only marked as one chosen for the Priesthood.  This is not a guarantee that he will become a Priest, it is up to God whether or not he is called later.

I am sure that there are a few Priests walking the earth that were not called, although they are very few.  But the Priest, whether called or not will always carry this mark as being chosen to the Priesthood from conception.

Some of us are chosen to be the protector, parent and instructor of such children, and what you see is amazing.  How can you tell them what you know?  They don't understand why people, complete strangers want to engage him, talk to him, get to know him.  But I know.  Eternity truly is in our hearts, and somewhere deep inside, these people know that the young man they want so much to speak can provide them a path to heaven.  They don't understand how, but somewhere deep inside, they know.

I have also seen the look of hatred on a face looking at my son.  I knew what this was too.  There is a look of evil on the face of one that is either pure evil or possessed by the same that can not be duplicated in human form.  They hate him for what damage he could potentially do to them, but they are not allowed to touch him.

As always, I am curious.  "God why did you let me see that?"  Knowledge is always given for a reason.  I was made aware of the real danger that we both face, and by God's grace are protected from.  

This is not the first time I had encountered this either.  I met with a young sweet faced Deacon who was soon to be a Priest in the church at OLPH.  (Now Father Doug Marcotte at Sacred Heart, Jeffersonville, IN) I gave him a copy of the vision of the Eucharist, I'll never forget the smile on his face!  He talked about his journey to the Priesthood and how much he had to study, etc.  I told him, "Oh don't worry, you will be a Priest, it is imprinted on your soul."  (My Mother always said I told everything I what I know I will say.)

I also encountered another young man about my son's age, that has this gift from God.  I also gave him a copy of the picture of the Eucharist saying, "You know only a Priest can do that!"  (Hint, Hint!) But the most memorable was being with my son and for just a moment feeling the power of God come from his hands.  

Will my son be a Priest? I don't know, whatever path he takes is between him and God.   I love him no matter what he becomes.  Whether he is called or not, I am thankful to be be his Mother and pray that I teach and guide him well.  

Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Joseph and Mary's House: A Modern Mini Play

Time:  1970's 
Location: Midwest farm...the Kitchen.

A young boy of the age of 12 with brown hair sat at a kitchen table, writing something on a paper, possibly a homework assignment.  Into the kitchen comes a woman with brown hair, tied in a bun in a blue dress with a baby on the hip.  There are two small children trailing behind her, and she is carrying a bag of groceries.


She didn't even have to finish His name, the young boy at the table had turned when she came in the room and was already rising from his chair, taking the grocery bag from her and digging into the bag to put the food away.

Jesus, looking puzzled at the child his Mother was carrying, touched the baby of about 11 months on the cheek and said, "Who is this?"

The young Jesus then noticed the two children hiding behind his Mother.  He knelt down as His Mother moved out of the way and spoke to the newcomers.

"Well, hello."  He looked at the child closest to him, "What is your name?"

The children looked shy and scared, unsure of their new environment, unsure if they should divulge any information.  

Mother Mary then gently touched the head of the tallest, blond headed boy as she said, "This is James, he is 8, and that is his little brother Joseph who is 5."    Mother then spoke directly to the boys.  "Boys, this is your new brother Jesus."  She then turned to the little girl she was holding, brushing the hair out of her eyes.  "And this is Miriam their little sister."  

Jesus took the baby from His Mother's arms, leaving her free to begin to prepare the food she had brought.

"Come on," Jesus said, "Let me show you the house and the workshop where Dad is."

"They are probably hungry, so tell your Dad we are going to eat a little early."

"I will."

"Jesus, don't take Miriam to the workshop, please put her in the playpen, she is crying because she is hungry now.  I'm going to warm up some milk and feed her "

Jesus did as His Mother requested, but looked questioning at her wondering if she needed help.  She looked back with the look of, "It's ok, I've got this."

Jesus led the boys through the house, showing them the different rooms.  He showed them their rooms, and the beds they would sleep on.    He then took them to an outbuilding/barn near the animal pens where sawing could be heard.

The older man looked up from his work to the door and saw a shadow of a young boy, with the sun shining bright behind him.  His heart leaped at the sight of the form of his son.  Jesus stepped into the workshop and two smaller boys where revealed to be behind him. 

Seeing the new children, Joseph looked questioningly at his son.  

Jesus looked back at him as if to say, "You know who did this."  

Joseph nodded slightly for he knew indeed who had brought these children into the household.  His wife was always bringing some new child into their home as either a permanent or temporary addition.  Sweet Mother that she is, if she was out and saw or heard of a child being mistreated, hungry or abandoned, she would say, "Give the child to me, I will be it's Mother."    As a result, the Joseph and Mary house was always full of children. 

Joseph never questioned any of this, he would just thank God that as a carpenter he could provide whatever the new child or children needed.  He knew his wife's faith was completely unshakable and as a result, the family had lacked nothing, no matter it's size.  

Once when Joseph had questioned Mary about how they were to feed all the children that she had brought into the house, Mary didn't even look distressed.  Mary sat down at the kitchen table, next to Jesus, looked Jesus in the eye and said, "I'm sure that God will provide for us whatever we need."  Mary's eyes never wavered from her son's face as she then added, ".....Isn't that right, Jesus."  

Jesus looked to his stepfather Joseph for help, but Joseph just looked silently at his son, as if to say, "She's got you there son. You know how hard it is to say 'no' to her."   

Jesus gently looked back at his Mother and smiled as He said, "Yes Mother, I am sure God will provide whatever we need."   

And so it was. 

Back in the barn Jesus turned to his stepfather and said, "This is James, and his younger brother Joseph."  

Joseph said, "James and Joseph, welcome to the family!  We will have a great time and if you like I will teach you what I am doing."  

Little James spoke up, "What are you doing?"  

"Well, do you see these chairs here?  God put it on my heart to make them a couple of weeks ago, and I am just finishing them, just in time for your arrival!  You see God knows everything, and He knew I would need these chairs for you."

"Oh, Mother said we are going to eat early, so we should probably go to the house."

"Alright, let's grab the chairs."

Joseph and Jesus each grabbed a chair, and they each took the hand of a child and began to walk back to the house.  

As they neared the house, Joseph could hear the cry of an infant.  Joseph stopped  and looked at Jesus.  Jesus put down the chair he was carrying, and held up three fingers.  

Joseph smiled as he said softly, "Of course there is three, I wouldn't have it any other way. "

"OK boys, let's get in and get washed up before supper."  

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Woman Caught in Adultery and the Woman At The Well

Alone at St. Stephen the Martyr.  In the dark, in front of the tabernacle, just me and Him. 

This is where I am happiest, with Him.

The door opens and a woman comes in in nurses scrubs, and sits down.  She is crying.   She is crying so loud it tears at my heart.  I go to her.

With tears in her eyes she looks up at me.  She sees perhaps the compassion in my eyes and that I want to be with her and moves over so I can sit down. 

"I'm here if you need to talk, if you need anything."

We looked at each other.  There was a 'knowing' that I can't fully describe.  Although I had never seen this woman before, somehow I knew her, and by the way she looked at me, I think she felt the same.  It was like two friends who have been away for a while picking up where they had left off form years ago.  

Through tears she tells me her story.  "My marriage is falling apart. I found out my husband is cheating on me."

"I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do to help?"  

"No, it is with another man, my Pastor, the whole church knows about it, and have for a while and I am the last to know."  

"Where do you go to Church, if you don't mind if I ask?"  

"It isn't here. This used to be my Parish. I started going with my husband to the Baptist Church."  

There was a silence between us for a time.

I pointed to the tabernacle.

"Do you see this? Jesus is here with us, truly present in the Eucharist, we are not alone here.  You came to the right place."  I then told her of the vision I had of the Eucharist and described it to her.  (This is what I saw...)

Her face spoke volumes that there was more to tell. 

"Tell me."

"You see he is my fifth husband, and now this marriage is falling apart too, I can't seem to keep a marriage or a husband."  She Said........

"I am the Woman at the Well."

My heart broke and the tears came down my face.  

She looked at me as if what she had said is something perhaps I could never understand.  Her eyes searched mine for understanding.   

 I took her hand and looked in her eyes and said, "I am the Woman caught in adultery."

We looked at each other and I think she understood that God had brought us together that day.  

I again pointed at the Tabernacle. "Jesus is my spouse, this is my Beloved.  Make Him your spouse and you will never be unhappy again......Come home."

We looked at each other one last time.   She smiled and I got up to leave.  

"I will pray for you, please pray for me."

"I will." 


This is a true story.  I do not know her name, nor have I ever seen her again.


Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Devil's Heartbeat

One day a new demon was asking questions of his demonic mentor, the elder demon assigned to show him the ropes so to speak. 

"Why does the illustrious evil one hate humans so?" asked the new demon.

"You don't know?"  

"No, I don't.  It doesn't make much sense to keep offending the Almighty, we are already condemned for all eternity, and we know that the Almighty, no matter what our sentence, can and will increase our suffering in proportion to the damage we try to inflict on those He loves..the humans I mean."

"Yes, I know what you mean." The elder demon looked uncomfortable at the turn of the conversation, but knew if he wanted the junior demon to survive the illustrious evil one's wrath, he had better tell him.  "The reason the supreme evil one hates humanity so is because of what beats in their chest, their heartbeats. "

"What? I don't understand."

"Well you see, God is eternal, He always was, and always will be.  And before the *Blessed Trinity *", he said with a curse under his breath, for no demon can deny the reality of God,  "...took on the flesh as the Lamb, God conceived in His heart, the heartbeat of Man and the heartbeat of His Son.   So before man's flesh was formed the heartbeat of man began to beat, but only in God's heart. " 

"We the angels before the throne of God where allowed to hear the future heartbeat of man that God loves so much, for it wasn't of flesh, for man was not yet made, but of love alone that the heart beat.  So throughout heaven the heartbeat of man, formed from the love of God alone beat in heaven.   It made a very distinctive sound, you can hear it now."

"So that is what that is?" Thats the 'thump thump' I hear constantly in the background?" 

"Grrrr.....YES!  That is the heart of man beating on the Earth!  The heart of the fleshy one's that the Eternal One loves so much that He, can you imagine, HE, the Holy One, the One that formed every star in heaven, even HE lowered Himself and took on this atrocious flesh and heartbeat."

"But why would this bother the illustrious evil one?  The fleshy one's will die and many will come to our kingdom." 

"You don't get it do you.  WE DON'T HAVE HEARTBEATS!!  Because we were once before the throne of God and had all knowledge of what God Is and His Holiness, we, who are eternal, are eternally damned.  WE CAN NEVER REPENT TO THE ETERNAL ONE AND GO BACK...not ever.  Every time the illustrious evil one hears one of those heartbeats he is constantly reminded of what he can NEVER have, but what the fleshy ones always can, while they are in the flesh that is.  They can repent and return to the Holy One, but every one of their heartbeats is like being thrown out of heaven all over again.  

"Oh I think I am beginning to see.  This makes sense now, so the illustrious evil one will do anything to stop that heartbeat on the earth, and ideally, make it stop when the soul is in such sin that he or she will come directly to our kingdom, correct?"  


"Um....hmm.  So that is why the illustrious evil one tries to tell people how good it is to commit suicide?"  

"Yes, but there is more too it than just wanting the heartbeat to stop."

"Well, you see, if the illustrious evil one can get those that are terminally ill to commit suicide, take the 'easy' way out, then they will totally miss the purification of suffering and by breaking the Holy Ones' commandment that says, 'Thou shalt not kill.' , it is very likely that he or she will end up with us.  Not 100% guaranteed, but the odds are in our favor so to speak.  

"Why isn't it 100%?  The Holy One is perfectly just right? Why wouldn't we get them." 

Frustrated, the senior demon snorted, "It is the warriors that the Holy One has sent upon the earth."  

"Warrior angels?"

"No, the prayer warriors that intercede and plead before the throne of God for those with the blackest of hearts, the ones that should be ours, but these Warriors snatch them from us constantly.  If these warriors love God and love those that God loves then their heart beats for God and for the conversion of sinners, these souls the Holy One protects, we have very little we are allowed to do to them, and even if we are allowed, it just usually makes them more in line with the Holy One, and gets them closer to heaven.....We lose either way."

"This is part of our eternal punishment, to constantly hear and be reminded of what we lost for all time by forever hearing the heartbeat of man.  It will never cease, for even when all is completed as the Holy One deems, we will still the heartbeat of the Son, for all eternity."

The realization was beginning to sink in.  All the demons and the damned in Hell will always hear the beating of the Sacred Heart, and know it cannot and never will beat for them.  Truly the loss of the love of God was and is the greatest suffering in Hell.


Friday, October 17, 2014

"I'm Here."

"Mom, why do you go to Mass everyday?"

"Because I love Him."  


"Our Lord."


"You don't understand do you."

"Not really."  

"Well to fall in love, you have to spend time with someone.  I didn't fall in love with your Father just by spending one hour with him once a week.  We talked, shared, spent time in a kind of 'adoration' of each other every day.  It's the same. 

"But you don't have to right?"

"I don't have to do anything, that is what free will is.   But because I do love Him, I want to go, I miss Him if I don't or can't go. "

"Why is so important to go to Mass? Wouldn't your time be better spent if you helped the homeless or something?  Isn't that what Jesus would want?  It seems kind of boring to me."

"My child, you don't know what is happening at the Holy Mass.  Let me try to explain.  First of all charity is always important, but there is nothing in the world that has more benefit for souls than to go to Mass.  In the Mass, heaven itself is opened and God comes down at the words of the Priest and is truly present, in the Eucharist, the communion.  And we who are present have a unique opportunity to plead to God for the souls of those that are lost to Him, purifying their souls in the process."

"Think about it this way, do you think there was any way Jesus' Mother would have gone shopping on the day that he was being tortured and crucified?"  

" way, she had to be there!" 

"Why?  Did Jesus need her to be there?"

"Well, yeah, you want your Mom when things are going bad." 

"If He was God, and He was, He didn't 'need' her because He is God, but that is not to say He didn't want her there, just like He wants all of us."   "Do you think Jesus loved his Mother?"

"Of course." 

"Then if Jesus loved His Mother, and wanted her present at His suffering and death, and knowing Jesus's love for us, how much more does He want us to be present at the Holy Mass when the cross is 're-presented' on the earth?" 

"I never thought of it that way."

"I go to Mass everyday because I love him and I need him.  Unfortunately, in the past as is now bad things are happening in the world, and sometimes I just say to Him in His suffering.... "I'm here."

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Encounter With The Virgin

This encounter started sometime back, I will begin there.  

For some time after my husband's death, I had been not living a good life.  I was breaking a commandment pretty regularly.  It wasn't I was mad at God for my husband's death, it was because of the intensity of the pain I was suffering because of grief.   In truth, it hurt worse to go to Church than it did to sin.  

I knew better, I had already had the Vision of the Eucharist, so I knew the truth, and I would say to myself, "What are you doing! You know better!!" 

After three years, when my heart had healed sufficiently, it was time to come home.

Mother calls.  

I'm driving to work and I hear her sweet voice in my ear.  

"Pray me a Rosary."  

I thought, "A whole Rosary?" (There was a time when just one Rosary would have not been enough for me, now it was unthinkable!) 

"Just give me a decade." 

Remembering all that her Son had done for me, I thought, "Ok, I can do that."  

I pray the decade, which led to two decades, which led to the Rosary every day.  

It is true, if you pray the Rosary, you cannot stay in sin, you will either give up the Rosary or the sin.  

I gave up the sin, and I came home.  

I started going to Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church.  The first Holy Mass I ran out of, because my sin was very much on me, and the demons did not want me there, and they made sure I was in pain.  But I went to confession, and did my penance, and then starting praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament again.  At first I would go across the river to St. Martin de Tours after Holy Mass on Sunday and pray there, but then one day I asked Father Eric Augentein if I could stay after Mass and pray and he said yes!! (Thank you Father!!) 

I appreciated him letting me stay and pray because I didn't have to cross the bridge, but there was an added benefit, I was alone with HIM!! 

My heart was heavy, because as I was falling back in love with Him, I knew deep in my heart that I could never be what I most wanted.  I could never be a bride of Christ.  Not because it was not possible, but because of my past.  If I could not be faithful in little things, and because of my sin, I didn't think I could ever be faithful to Him in large things.  

My heart was so sad because I loved Him so much, and wanted to be His, but thought I never could be, ever.  

Mother has a way fixing things.  

What I saw was totally unexpected.  I had resolved that I would never have my wish to be a bride of Christ and resolved to go on with my life.  I NEVER TOLD ANYONE OF MY DESIRE.  I kept it in my heart only.  

After about a year of being "home", I was in Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church by myself praying the Rosary.  I am adoring the Holy Eucharist in the Tabernacle, when I see in my mind Our Lady of Fatima standing before me.  She was wearing the white with the gold trim and she was smiling at me.  As this was only in my mind, I thought it was my imagination.  (I have a great devotion to Our Lady of Fatima) I began to think of something else, a Math equation, to make it go away. (That always works!)   It didn't go away.  I found I had no control over what I was seeing in my mind.  And it was like the Blessed Virgin knew what I was doing to make the vision of her go away, because she smiled at me like any Mother who says, "I know what you are doing."

Then in the vision in my mind, The Blessed Virgin approached me where I was kneeling in my pew and took a white cloth and placed it on my head and with her two small hands smoothed it down on either side of my head. 

Then she was gone.  

I began to cry.  She was letting me know that she accepted me as a potential Bride of Christ.  What I thought was IMPOSSIBLE, she made possible.  

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"They Will Never Repent."

I have never met them, but I know of them.  I don't know their names.  But I know what they did, and what they continue to do.   They abuse children which is a great evil before the Lord.  

I don't want anyone to go to hell, so I prayed and asked God that if it was possible, if they could know a little of what they would suffer for all eternity HERE so that they would repent of their evil and turn back to God.  Basically, put the fear of Hell in them.  

The answer made my heart drop.

"They will never repent."

Never forget, the will of God is perfect, but what these people are doing is NOT His will, but the free will of those that do evil.  

But you say, "If God has knowledge of it, why doesn't He change it?"  

Just because God has foreknowledge of our sins does not mean that He condones them, nor is He responsible for them.  God will not send these souls to Hell, they will do that all by themselves.  God will give them many opportunities to repent in their life, but God is God, and He knows all things.  God cannot un-know what He knows.   God's perfect knowledge of all events does not mean that He in any way cooperates with evil, instead God, will work all to good, even evil done to a child.   

We were given the gift of free will and when God gives a gift, He does not take it back.  If we only knew how frightening the gift of free will is, we would be more careful how we use it.  

God's eyes are constantly upon us, not just what we do and say, but what our heart desires from our deeds.  God knows who we REALLY are, and it is our heart that will be weighed at the judgement.  

If you are reading this and you have or are abusing a child, sexually or otherwise, I BEG you to repent to God and beg Him to change your heart.  God is giving you an opportunity NOW to turn back to Him...take it. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

The Paper

We each have a blank paper on which to write our lives.
Many times people comes into our lives to help us write what is to be.
Spouses, place their hand gently over ours, or we over theirs, writing gently with fingers enter twined, writing as if only one hand writing.

Children come and take the pen from our hands as we chase after them.  Children's impact on our lives cause the pen to write so fast we hardly know what was written. 

Take a sheet of paper and begin to write your name.   Write your name over and over again. Write your name 50, 100 times..

How quickly did it take to get boring?  Five names, or 10, more?
The point is, writing your life as if it is all about is a very boring exercise.

We all have selfish people in our lives that it is “all about them.”  Don’t they seem to be chasing something they can never catch? 

Now take a sheet of paper and write the names of those whom have made a difference (bad or good) in your life.  As you write their name, think about them, and what they have meant to you and what you would wish for them. (Also, may be bad or good...)

Now, no matter where this exercise took you, you've got to admit, it wasn't boring.   
You may have even got some insight to a person, or yourself and how a situation could have gone better, or worse.

The point is, when we write our lives “all about us”, it’s pretty boring.
But when we write our lives for others, we learn and we grow. 

But who gives us the paper and the ink?  God of course.

God owns the paper and the pen of our lives and one day our pen will be out of ink and we will be asked to turn in our paper.

Who’s name will be on your paper?

A paper with just our name on it alone is pretty boring, even to God. 

Don’t bore God, pour your 'ink' out for others.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Preparing for Eternity

One of the greatest gifts that God gives us in the Holy Mass, and the Holy Eucharist is to prepare us for Eternity.  There is no where you can go on the planet and prepare for your own Judgement and Eternity like you can by going to Holy Mass, Holy Confession and taking the Blessed Sacrament.  

There is no Preacher or Church service in the world that prepares you for heaven like what happens every day at Holy Mass.  

This is why St. John Vianney said that if a Priest knew what he was doing he would die.  For a Catholic Priest is the only person in the world that by his anointing God hears his prayer and answers them without fail.  At the Holy Mass the heavens are opened and God Himself becomes fully present,body, blood, soul and divinity in the Holy Eucharist.   

For when the Priest speaks the words, "This is my body." and "This is my blood." God will ALWAYS honor the words of His Son through His Priest that and has done so since the Last Supper, otherwise Jesus's words would not be true and God would be a liar.  Whether a Priest is Holy or a sinner, GOD WILL ALWAYS HONOR THE CONSECRATION that happens at EVERY Holy Mass. 

This IS what happens at EVERY Holy Mass!  This is the truth.

In the Holy Mass we are given a window into Heaven and an opportunity to purify our souls for our eventual judgement.  (We all will die.)  Do not put off going to Holy Mass, go daily, for when you step into a Catholic Church you are stepping onto the field of Eternity.  

We are finite, we are dust, and one day we all will die.  But God in his love and mercy gives us the Holy Mass to cleanse and purify our souls so that we may attain not only what we should desire butwhat God desires for us, that we should behold Him in the face....The Beatific Vision of God.  

The will of God is perfect, the justice of God is perfect, and if we have neglected the gifts that God has given us in this life so that we may attain Heaven, then by God's justice we will not attain it.  

You cannot attain the Highest Heaven and receive the greatest joy that flesh cannot contain without receiving God himself in the Holy Mass first.  The Holy Mass IS HEAVEN! And we cannot expect a route to God in Heaven without it.  This is why each Holy Mass helps every person on the planet, Catholic, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, etc.  

YOU are needed at the Holy Mass, not only for the purification of your own soul, but for the purification of others.  Offer your prayer, suffering, all that you are at the Holy Mass to God for the salvation of others.

The Holy Mass is the greatest event that takes place upon the earth.


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Vision of Eucharist (Part I)

It's time.

This is what I saw.  The words underneath the vision of the Eucharist is what I heard.  A man's voice, gentle, but with authority to it that you did not question.

Now the history.

I was baptized a Catholic as an infant.  Although I went to Catholic School, I never did get my first communion or my confirmation.  (There were problems at home).  We had school Mass every Friday morning.  We didn't have a "blessing", if you hadn't had your first communion, you just sat there and watched everyone else go.  This was torture.  

After Catholic School, I would still go to Holy Mass, at St. Michael the Archangel Church, but I would never take Holy Communion.  Again, I would just sit there.  I can't tell you how bad I wanted to take Holy Communion.  I KNEW it was Jesus, and as a result I was also terrified of it also.  Although I saw other people take the Blessed Sacrament, I  got to a point that I gave up ever being able to receive Holy Communion.  I can't tell you how much I would hunger for what I thought I would NEVER HAVE.  

I still prayed the Rosary.  Marriage, years went by.  

One night I had a dream.  In the dream I went into a beautiful church, and when I walked in there was red carpet and pews to the left.  To the right was the Altar in this Church and the Holy Eucharist was hanging over the Altar.  The Eucharist was as BRIGHT AS THE SUN!!  Before the Altar, was a one person kneeler.  (Like the one below - red cloth and everything!) The only difference was the kneeler in my dream didn't have the top part where you place your elbows when you pray. 

I knew Jesus was standing next to me, to my right.  I wasn't permitted to turn and look at Him.  I heard Him say in my dream, "Kneel and receive Communion." 

I said to him, "But Lord, there is no Altar for me to kneel on." (I meant the top was gone from the kneeler).  

The Lord said to me, "I will become the Altar." And He laid across the posts and became the wood and the cloth and I knelt and received Holy Communion.  

When I woke up, I knew what I had to do, I knew He was calling me to get my First Communion.   But how? I didn't know there was anything like RCIA.  I loved the Priest at St. Michael the Archangel, but he had such a deep voice he kind of scared me.  I thought I would find another Catholic Church to get my Communion from.  I called St. Martha's Catholic Church and their RCIA was starting in a few weeks. (Go figure!) 

I had never been to St Martha's, never stepped in the door.  I signed up for RCIA and started going there for instruction.   The first time I stepped into the Sanctuary at St Martha's, my breath was taken away, and i cried.

It was the EXACT same Church as in my dream.


More of this story coming in (Part 2).

Sunday, September 07, 2014

God's Wrath.

Today was a rough one.  But I knew it would be, I had been warned ahead of time. 

I went to Holy Mass and as usual, I stay after and pray.  This situation is ideal, because no one sees me.  This is important.  If you are truly seeking the good of another soul in your petition to God, and nothing for yourself, then your petition, ideally, should just be between you and God.  Hidden from the eyes of everyone.  No guile, no hidden agendas, just you and God as you plead to Him for His mercy on those He has chosen you to pray for.  (Oh yeah, you usually don't get to pick whom or what you pray for.) 

I never know when I am going to get my assignment, today it was near the end of the Holy Mass.  "Isis".  Isis:  to bind the great evil that surrounds these men, for they are chained directly to the devil.  My assignment was to beg and plead God to bind this evil, as He sees fit to bind it, but I went a little further.  That is the beauty of God, is that He allows us to push the limits, especially if what we are pushing the boundaries for are for what are the desires of His heart.  

This is what Abraham did, and what Moses did too.  Abraham kept pushing the limit of how many just men would be needed to save Sodom.  Moses was the lawgiver, but many forget how many times he 'entreated' the Lord for not only the Israelite s, but Pharaoh too.  When the spirit of the Lord came upon the tent, the people didn't want to go in, they wanted Moses to go in.  I get that.

I tell you now, Abraham and Moses loved God, but that doesn't mean they weren't terrified also.  God is mercy eternal, God is love eternal, but people forget that God is also justice eternal, and when you are standing on the field of eternity and pleading with a God who's wrath you can feel, this is quite terrifying.   To plead with the one and Holy God, the Eternal is frightening enough, but to plead with a God who's wrath  you can feel is a measure in how much the heart is truly dedicated in seeking the salvation of those whom God's wrath has incurred.   Will you stay? Will you continue?  How committed to the lost are you really?  You want to run, but you don't, you stay, whatever the consequences.  

Someone HAS to go into the tent and plead for the people! 


Holy Mass was over, the church had cleared out.  I prayed a rosary and knew I had to go to the Stations.  It wasn't so much in words, but it was communicated to me, 

"This is going to be a rough one."  

"Ok...I'm ready."  

My mission was just to ask God to bind the evil and beg His mercy on the souls in Isis, but I went a little further. I have a Mother's heart, and I try to use the heart He has given me well.  I push the boundaries, 

"Lord, give them to me, give them to me as my children." 

Silence.  I begin the Stations.  

My prayer is answered for tears that I shed as I pray the Stations can only come from a Mother for her children.   Every Station I offered to God, I could feel His wrath and anger for the evil that has been done.  How could I counter this?  The one thing I know for sure from praying the stations is this: The will of God is perfect and the justice of God is perfect.  I didn't stop, I kept pleading with God, offering each station, begging for my children.  

I come to the 12th Station and I was given understanding.  

Those that plead to God for those souls that are lost can turn God's wrath back by offering that His wrath fall upon them instead of those who have incurred that wrath.  This isn't a macho question of who is more of a martyr, this is a question of love.  How much do you really love those you are pleading to God for?  

This frightened me, I didn't understand.  "Lord, if your wrath falls upon me, wouldn't I be in danger of going to Hell?"  The answer was "No."  I was given that those, who with great love in their heart, if they so choose to ask that God's wrath fall upon them, instead of it falling on those whom God's justice requires it, then the soul who has accepted this, out of love only, then that soul is greatly purified for heaven and God's wrath is turned away from those who would otherwise face eternal damnation.    

What Mother wouldn't give everything, for her children and offer to take their place to keep them from harm.  "Lord, Let the wrath fall on me."  

I finished the Stations and went to my normal pew.  I was drained and exhausted.  I had no prayer left in me.  I went to my car and was so exhausted I had to put the seat back and take a little nap before leaving.

May God give me the strength to take up the fight again.