Friday, July 18, 2014

"Are Their Souls Not Worth $200?"

Some time ago on Facebook, I got a message from (what I thought was...) my Bishop.  He was very kind and ministering to me, asking about my walk, quoting scripture, and even giving me the link to his blog to read.  These messages happened over several days, and I was rather enjoying our little private conversations. 

One day the Bishop asked me to donate to a particular orphanage in Nigeria, and sent me the link to it.  As it was Lent, he related this gift to our Lenten obligation to give to the poor and needy.  He didn't ask for a specific amount, but asked if I could give whatever I could, telling me what the children needed. Bishop C. said this organization was very close to his heart and he was personally asking several parishioners  to donate.  He said the money had to be sent to an individual who ran the orphanage, and then soon, I got an email from that individual begging for money.

As I am the ‘research girl’, I went to the website and checked everything.  I checked out the nonprofit status, searched their domain registry, scoured the internet for information about the Nigerian orphanage.  What I found was rather ambiguous.  The nonprofit status had been revoked,  the domain registry seemed a little odd, and I definitely didn't like sending money to an individual, as I had worked for a nonprofit and I knew that all donations should be made to the organization.  I had a quandary.

I questioned the Bishop, and he re-assured me, but I was still very wary (Not of the Bishop, I thought maybe someone had taken advantage of him).  The only other solution was to talk to my Priest.  I talked to Father J. and voiced my concerns about this website/setup and how I didn't really want to say ‘no’ to the Bishop (He was my Bishop!).  Father J., reassured me that any donation the Bishop would ask was not mandatory and that I could ask for another avenue of donation that I would feel more comfortable with.  After leaving Father, I felt better and thought I would fully trust what the Bishop was telling me.  However, I delayed and delayed sending the money.  

The next time I went to confession, I was going to confess my delay in obedience, but I found I couldn't get the words out to speak of this failing.  I tried twice, but my mouth wouldn't form the words.  I thought that was strange, but decided to trust God and finished with my confession.   Eventually I did send the $ to the "orphanage".  

A few days later, there was a message on Facebook from the real Bishop C.  that someone had made a duplicate Facebook Page of him and had been impersonating him in seeking donations.  He said he had no affiliation with this organization and had reported it to Facebook.  

So it was all a scam!  My hunch was right!  I felt hurt, vulnerable, and I was so angry at the people who had done this! 

I am a very direct person, I wanted to know why God allowed this.  If it is allowed by God then there is always a reason, God wastes nothing.   So I asked God, "Lord, why did we take this trip around the mountain?"  

The answer was, "Are their souls not worth $200?"

"Yes Lord, their souls are worth far more than that, infinitely more."

I get it.  Yes, he could have asked me to pray, but with the theft committed against me I had an emotional investment in the souls that had done this, I was angry.  He wanted me to take that energy of anger that was directed toward them in a negative way and turn it to an offering to the Father FOR the salvation of their souls. 

The Prayer was offered for them, with much hurt in my heart, and as I prayed I found that the hurt in me was healed, and at the end of the Stations that I offered for them, I found I loved them as if they were my own children, and I was begging God for their salvation. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

"You know I Conquered Sin and Death."

During prayer one day, the Lord spoke to me.

"You know I conquered sin and death."  

I don't why I knew it, but I knew this was instruction about my prayer, about how to pray. 

"Yes Lord".  Thinking: What is He trying to tell me?

 Sin and Death...OK...think! 'Sin and Death', like murder, adultery, greed...yes, sin, but what about death?  Unprovided death, car wrecks, suicide.  I was given to understand that because He had conquered sin and death I could pray about this also.

In my prayer it has been people, places, but it was like He was taking me to the next level, honing my prayer skills.  I felt very strongly that at the next Stations of the Cross I was to pray about the evil of Serial Killing.  

I went to the Stations, I asked if I could ask that it be eradicated, the answer was "No."  I then wondered how I was to pray about this.  This isn't a place or a person that you can focus on, it is a "condition" and "evil" if you will.  I thought, "How do I do this?"  

The answer was this.  

I could not ask that the evil or condition that I was to pray about be eradicated, for that will not be until these things are thrown into the pit.  ("Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire." Revelation 20:10).  Also, this is a mystery, but even though there is evil in the world, God will work all things to His will, and good.  

But I can pray the Stations and ask the Father to bind the evil condition that is in the World as He wills to bind it.  

If there is great effort of evil in the world, then we in our petition to God should pour all upon the altar to beg for those lost by this evil.  The prayer of one seeking black hearts to be converted is an effort of tears, pleading, much heartbreak, and sweat.  When going against such evils, and asking God to bind them, do not be surprised, because of the great evil associated with it, that after your prayer you will be totally exhausted afterwards.   

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice."  (Matthew 9:13)  However, it is not in sacrificing our flesh and offering it to God by which we are heard, but by the mercy, and love in our heart that desires the lost to be converted.  It is in offering the heart full of love for the lost to the Father by which souls are saved by God.  

As our Lord struggled, and fought to walk the way of the cross, so too we must fight in our prayer with great emotional and sometimes physical effort for those that are now on the path of destruction.


We are the front lines in the battle for souls! Join the fight!!

Monday, July 14, 2014


I was afraid to write some of the posts I have posted lately.  Part of me didn't want to write them, because of what they could cost me.  Yes, I have written the truth, I will not deny that, ever.  And I was commanded to write.  He said, "You MUST write."  "OK I will." And write I shall.

The truth I tell could cost me dearly.  It has already begun to cost me, but because of my love, I will be obedient.  The Mathematics I love, may be only a dream, a certificate on the wall.   I may never get to use it.  Not my will but yours.  When you know the truth, any pain of any loss is small compared to the pain of the state of souls in the world.

Praying the Stations, and the Holy Rosary has taught me much.  He loves us SO MUCH, how can I express the pain He has let me feel at the loss of one soul into a eternity of separation in Hell.  His Justice will never SUPERSEDE HIS MERCY nor will his Mercy ever supersede His Justice.  This is what is most terrifying, His Justice.  His mercy is infinite! But we can only access it while we are in the flesh!

If one evil man where able to destroy half the souls upon the earth, and then with a true broken heart of contrition for the pain he had caused his loving Holy God and beg forgiveness, the man could still access the mercy of God and be forgiven while in the flesh!  How can we measure the love of God for just ONE SOUL!!  

And what would we give if we truly love God?  If we love Him, we love whom He loves.  What would you deny to one you love with all your heart?  Nothing, no object, thing, money, nor anything of the flesh could you deny Him.  Only love allows us to lay down all out of love for God and the lost.

All for Him....ALL.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

"Don't Turn Around."

Another time praying the Stations....

I was at the 6th Station, offering the Station to God, asking the Father that one drop of blood that just one drop of our Lord's precious blood cover what I was praying for.

At this station, I am all the way at the back of the Church, with my back to the Altar.  I hear the Lord say to me, "Don't Turn Around."  

"Uh...Ok."  My eyes widened and I was somewhat afraid.  Then I heard all the banging, and noise behind me, and I felt the demon right at my back, he was about 1 inch from touching my back, and I could feel his presence was very large.(I don't know how I knew this as I didn't turn around, but I did, I understood, he was about 7 feet tall)  He wanted to tear me up.  I was so scared, I trembled, but didn't turn around. I knew the demon couldn't hurt me unless God allowed it.

After about 5 seconds, the noise and everything stopped and there was calm in the church.  I was still under the obedience of His instruction, so I had to ask.  "Lord, may I finish these stations?"  "Yes" was the answer.

Timidly I prayed the Stations until I got to the 10th Station, on this one, I had to turn around.  "Lord, may I turn around?".  "Yes".  The church was empty. 

I finished the rest of the Stations without incident.

We are our brother's keeper.  As Catholics, as the front line in the battle for souls, we have a responsibility for every non Catholic Christian, every pagan, and every sinner on the planet.  They do not have the weapons that we have to purify their souls with Holy Mass,  Holy Confession, the Holy Rosary and the Stations of the Cross.  We must fight for them.  Every soul is worth whatever we must suffer.  No matter how exhausting the petition before the Father, go again, fight again, beg again, cry before the judgement seat again, but NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP on anyone!

As Catholics we must be pure and holy so we can lay down ALL for our brethren.  Do you understand that you can take Holy Communion for one that will never be able to take Holy Communion? Do you understand how powerful that is, and what it means in a souls walk of salvation?  This is why every Catholic should go to Holy Mass daily, pray the Holy Rosary daily and go to regular Confession.

Catholics ARE born for combat!